Do You Love RACE CARS?    Do You Love RACING?    Are You RACECAR STUPID?  

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Have you ever wondered why you spent your last twenty bucks on something that had to do with racing or racecars?  There is truly something magical about what racing does to some people.  If you are RACECAR STUPID you know what I mean.

What we will present to you is a lot of funny stuff that believe it or not, is true.  It has to be because nobody could make this stuff up!  The best part is we can laugh at ourselves and others that have the same weakness we do – namely – Racecars!

Follow this scenario and see if you fit in somewhere.  You know what time of the year “The Boys Come To Town” so you request your vacation time then.  Here in Phoenix we have the privilege of two races a year – April and November.  As soon as the tickets go on sale you are there!  If you have season passes to the track (my car chief and his wife do) you are what we consider to be “Pro” RACECAR STUPID.  Then, about three weeks before the race you drive out to the track and stake a tent at the spot where your RV will be parked to save the closest space to the infield walkway (and outhouse) so that both are so close you can see, hear and smell (the track not the outhouse) what is going on.  A lot of lucky “Pro” RACECAR STUPID people have infield parking.   Does this sound familiar yet??

Whether you have infield parking or the “good ole boy” parking on the outside RV parking area you always plan how you are going to decorate.  If your family all has different favorite race teams that can be a problem which raises the question as to whether you want your “home for the weekend” to look like the United Nations of Racing.  You also have to decide on what flag you will fly for each race that is scheduled that weekend.  If your favorite driver happens to drive in more than one series it is easier but just figure Truck, Busch or Cup when the big boys come to town there is going to be some major flag waving going on.

 There is also the influence of a holiday such as at the Phoenix race one year it was also Halloween weekend. The kids were Trick-or-Treating everywhere.  Now I am not saying that giving track memorabilia is a proper treat for a child but when you run out of candy or forget it all together sometimes that is all that is left!  Only problem for most of the children is that the parents were raiding the trick-or-treat bags for the souvenirs!

 I guess we can all be thankful that race season ends before Christmas.  I don’t know if the world is ready for a RACECAR STUPID Elf!

Whatever the occasion there is always a celebration every night – sometimes until the sun comes up (or rather when the first practice session stirs you out of your “Partied Too Hearty” state of mind).  Sometimes the sound of those roaring engines and the smell of race fuel is just what the doctor ordered to cure that headache and sour stomach!  Only RACECAR STUPID people know this.  All you gotta hope for is that someone is not calling for “Buicks” because we don’t race those!

 The evening brings out the best of racing enthusiasm among our weekend “neighbors.” That is when they start trying to race anything that has four wheels.  The variety ranges from electric carts to ice coolers to barstools!  If it has wheels it qualifies and so do you at being RACECAR STUPID!  Crazy thing is every one of you believe you could drive just as fast on that track as those beautiful speed machines.  Crazier yet is if you get the opportunity to drive your motor home around the track as you are exiting the infield parking after the races, listen to whoever is driving and see if they are making racing sounds while they are driving.  They are pretending they are driving the “brown truck!”

 There is a fine line between those of us that are Racecar Stupid Challenged and those of you who think we are totally nuts!  The problem here lies in the fact that everything RACECAR STUPID people do seems quite sane and proper at the time.

If you find yourself dragging pieces of wrecked racecars from the track in hopes of making it your coffee table base or a lamp or just a plain old ordinary paper weight – you might be RACECAR STUPID!

 If any of your children were conceived at the track – you might be RACECAR STUPID!

 If any of your children are named after a favorite driver or crew member – you might be RACECAR STUPID!

 If any of your pets are named after a track – you might be RACECAR STUPID!

My car chief and his wife named their two dogs Talladega and Daytona.

 If you find yourself screaming at the TV during a race telling a certain driver how he should be driving - you might be RACECAR STUPID!

 If you really believe you could actually change a tire, gas a car or jack up a car almost as fast as the pit crews do - you might be RACECAR STUPID!  After all they make it look so easy your grandma could do it, right?!

Over the years we have participated in a trade show for “Big Boy” toys and brought one of our stockcars to use in a “Tire Changing Contest.”  We have gotten a few of our race team members from this contest but for the most part  it is a very humbling experience for the people (men, women and children) who have made attempts.  That old time clock just keeps on ticking as you watch people give it their best effort.   I can assure you they all have a much better understanding and respect for the “over the wall gang" on these race teams after they try to change a tire themselves.   You don’t realize just how heavy that tire is until you try to lift it on to the lug bolts.  The pros make it look so easy but all of them will attest to the busted knuckles and burns from hot tires and exhaust pipes in their faces. 

 On the home front my son made me realize that I too, was RACECAR STUPID when he pointed out that we were the only people on the block, neighborhood or in the city that had a front clip of a Ford Taurus on our front patio.  Now if that is not RACECAR STUPID I don’t know what is.

 RACECAR STUPID is not a bad thing!  The best RACECAR STUPID people though are the ones that have actually raced something competitively on a real racetrack.  There is something addictive about the smell of race fuel or burning rubber that turns on the adrenaline.  

 The best perfume any woman who knows a RACECAR STUPID man could wear would smell like race fuel or burning rubber.  I can just see the latest designer label - Eau de 110 (Octane) or High Test or better yet Burning Rubber of Desire. 

 Now it is true that there are RACECAR STUPID women, too.  I am proud to admit that I am one of them!!!  Ladies you might have to work a little harder at it but the morsels of knowledge you could drop on a conversation might make that Non-RACECAR STUPID man a convert!  You might even know more about parts of a racecar than the average man if you are a “Pro” RACECAR STUPID Lady!

 I will give you all pointers as we go along.  Just as an example, how many of you would know where to get a “Dale Earnhardt” piston to use as a paperweight? RACECARSTUPID-bay of course!  

How many of you Ladies and Gents out there know what an A-pillar, B-pillar and C-pillar on a racecar are??  If you do, you might be RACECAR STUPID!

 If you have ever done or thought any of the above – you might be RACECAR STUPID!!!  We sincerely hope you enjoy our RACECAR STUPID website.

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Click Here to submit your story for the  FREE RACECAR STUPID Ball Cap Contest

We want to share your stories with other RACECAR STUPID people.  We know they are all true because nobody could possibly make this stuff up.  The one thing that you most times don’t even need to try to do is embellish your stories.  We all know they will be so far fetched that they have to be believed!

Here are a few more jokes to help you remember your RACECAR STUPID moments.

If your riding mower has a bigger motor than your car – you might be RACECAR STUPID.

If people hear your car long before they see it – you might be RACECAR STUPID.

 If there is a wreck at the race track and you think that means another decoration for your living room wall – you might be RACECAR STUPID.

If you take a car trip and try to beat your best time – you might be RACECAR STUPID.

If the glass top of your coffee table sits on a race slick – you might be RACECAR STUPID.

If that race slick coffee table also has a framed “authenticity letter” telling whose racecar it came off of – you might be RACECAR STUPID.

If you have ever torn down a motor in your living room – you might be RACECAR STUPID.

 If your barstools are made out of tire rims welded together – you might be RACECAR STUPID.

 If you throw more parties at the racetrack than at home – you might be RACECAR STUPID.